“I Was A Loser Until I Was 39” - Robert Greene: transcript

I wrote the 48 Laws of Power when I was 39 essentially and I'd been pretty much a loser up until then. Parents about to give up on me, their their son who can't seem to hold a job for more than a few months. >> Mhm. >> I finally write this book. I get more money than I've ever seen in my entire life, right? Um and things are looking up pretty good. And so now it's time to like write a second book.

And the pressure on me is to kind of just kind of create the another version of the 48 Laws of Power. >> Yeah. >> And cuz it it is it's doing very well. And people So, I decide I mean, Seduction is is kind of related to it, but it's it's not what what my publishers wanted. It's not what my my partner wanted me to do. But it felt like something I it felt it connected to my soul. It connected to something deep in me because Seduction has been a subject that's fascinated me since my 20s when I was a rake and I was read a lot of books about literature of Seduction and I met great seducers. So, I had to write this book cuz it connected to me.

All of my books have had that evolution where I don't repeat what was in the last book. I have to feel something very new, something very different, something very fresh. And when I don't, I have that painful feeling like this doesn't fit me. This isn't who I am. And um I remember I got to do that book with 50 Cent. Uh which was, you know, an unusual uh opportunities to say the least. >> Yeah. >> And um the first version of the book was canceled because it wasn't good.

And uh it was also late, but I knew it wasn't good because the book was really about 50 Cent. It wasn't about me. It wasn't my taste, my interests, my desires. And I knew when I was writing it I was uncomfortable with it. It was all about business and 50 negotiating this that and the other and what his what his empire was like and it didn't feel comfortable to me. I was I was feeling that pain that he's discussing there.

And then finally, the book was canceled and I realized it was canceled because I wasn't in it. It wasn't something soulful for me. It didn't mean anything to me. And so we we pivoted and the book the became more my book. You know, a lot of 50 in it, but there was much more of me being put into it, my way of thinking, my ideas, what excites me. And then the book took off. So, every book has to feel like I'm deeply deeply engaged. Like it has to be something new and this this new book, which is probably going to shock people because they're used to me doing what you just said, books of manipulation and and psych human psychology, I had to do it. Even if it's if even if it's an abysmal failure, because my daemon was saying this is what you have to do. So, I understand that sense of discomfort and pain. It doesn't fit me. It's not right. It's nails on a chalkboard. I can't do it. I just can't do it.

>> What's your advice to people that wish they had more bravery when it comes to committing what they feel they know is true inside? >> Well, I I talked a lot about that in the book Mastery. Um so, what I tell people is you could go on through your 20s and your 30s following a career path that makes you money, that get gets you a family, gives you stability, but isn't quite you.

And then you get into your 40s and that sense of discomfort kind of grows and maybe you get a little disengaged from your work and maybe you go have an affair with your secretary and some kind of drama happens. Maybe you start taking this kind of drug or something, like that, or you gain a lot of weight. Then you're in your 50s and you're kind of locked into this and you Jesus Christ, where am I going? Well, it's too late to change. I'm just going to settle into it. You're on then you're like and it's too late, right? It's very, very painful.

Very, very painful to kind of wake up and realize that you headed in the wrong direction in life. And so, what I tell people is particularly if you're in your 20s, you don't want that to happen to you. And so, you think that money and stability is the only thing that matters, but it's not. You have to have a sense of adventure. You have to have a sense of exploring. You have to have some courage in this world to pursue something that suits you and isn't necessarily going to make you as big an income as this other career path, you know? And so, you have to realize that you're going to pay a price for violating this law, for violating this need, this law of who you actually are. You're going to pay a price and that is you're going to disengage from your work.

You're going to start having habits and addictions and things because your body will your body tells you the truth. You know, I know physically I feel uncomfortable and this man David probably would have told you the same thing. It's a physical sensation. Your body is going to rebel. Some point you're going to get illnesses. You're going to become diabetic. You're going to start gaining weight. You've disconnected from the reality of who you actually are. You will pay a price. I try and hit people in the brain with that and say, "Look, you you don't want that fate."

I was talking This is >> [clears throat] >> slightly related. I was talking to a man who's a basketball coach of a G League team, uh which is the league before you get into the NBA. Very successful. And he was now offered the head coaching job of this NBA team because and he's in his 30s. And he and he was expressing that fear of I have this really comfortable job and I made all these great relationships and now I'm going to enter this world where people are everyone's going to see me, everyone's going to judge me, I can easily fail.

You know, my reputation will be ruined and I won't have this chance to go back to where I was. And I told him take the job, don't look back, you're going to learn so much more. Being young and excited will be an advantage for you over all these other kind of re-tread coaches in the NBA. It's going to be the best thing you have, but don't be afraid. Your fear is holding you back. Just go for it. He He didn't and uh, his team won the NBA championship.

>> No way. >> Yeah, not last year, but the year before. >> Cool. >> Um, it took him like five years to get there. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't like the next first season he they won championship. >> Yeah. >> But, your fear is holding you back and your fear is making it seem like you're being reasonable, but in fact you're just afraid and you're just listening to the voices and you're just listening to your spouse or whomever who's trying to tell you to take the safe route. My wife can tell you this story. Years ago in the 90s, my mother I had a cuz I told you I was a loser, I had a I was jumping I couldn't hold a job for more than five months.

I finally had a job in television in Hollywood, right? Look like stability finally landed on Robert's shoulders. And I would I couldn't stand it. I hated it. It was like the most miserable period of my life. And I was going to quit and my mother tried to convince my then girlfriend to tell Robert he's got to keep this job. I mean, what's he's crazy. What's he doing? And um I you know, I I had to ignore that completely and and and incur their disappointment and and everything else and just I quit cuz I couldn't stand it, you know? But I could have listened to my mother. I could have listened to voices that told me, "You're 35 years old. Time to settle down, Robert. Time to get into a job.

Time to get into that niche in Hollywood. Become a television writer and you make a good income." And yeah, I'll make a good income, but I'll kill myself in 10 years. >> [laughter] >> All right, getting back to the sublime. >> Sublime, please. What's the importance of scale? How can vastness contribute to the way that we process life? >> Well, uh the idea of scale is is very important to me because you know, animals, God bless them, they have their their interesting strange consciousness, but they're not aware of anything outside of their immediate environment.

They don't know what's happening outside what they can see or smell, right? They're not aware of here I'm in America and what's going on in China. Okay, no animal has that. We have consciousness and we're aware of things on the other side of the planet, on the what's going on in the sky, with our sun and and beyond that, right? And so, when you open your eyes to that and you literally take it in, the first thought is, "My God, am I insignificant? I am so small, right?

The universe is 13.8 billion years. I live maybe, if I'm lucky, 80 years." You try and and divide 13.8 billion by 80 and you go, "Jesus Christ. My life is like nothing. It's like a a life of a fly. It's like passes by enough time. You think of the distances and how immense things are. You are so small. You also there 8 billion people on Earth. You're one of 8 billion people. You're You're You're meaningless. You're so small, okay?

That sense of scale and being aware of how small you are and how infinitesimal you're like just a piece of dust has two effects on you. Number one, it's kind of "Oh my god, I feel horrible." On the other hand, that's insane that I am aware of this vastness, that I am aware of time, that I am part of this incredible drama, right? That I can be aware of endless time. I can be aware of a limitless universe kind of thing.

Children have that sensation. It's kind of dizzying to feel that, to be aware of it, to be aware of the vastness of things. It puts everything in perspective. It makes you realize that the little bitty concerns that you have in the moment aren't really that important in the long scheme of things. In fact, they're incredibly unimportant. When you're a child, that smallness is very apparent because you were literally all small. You're literally all weak and vulnerable. And because of that, you're curious. You want to know.

Everything seems interesting and exciting and weird. And you look up at the night sky and it like it has that sense of terror and excitement, which is the sublime in essence, a mix of these two powerful emotions. And that's what gives you the intensity of your experience, that sense of scale of of how small you are. >> A quick note, lots of people tell us that YouTube unsubscribes them from the channel even though they already pressed it. So, just check down there and see if the subscribe button is pressed. You get access to episodes before anybody else if you do, supports me and the show, helps me to bring you bigger and better guests, and it makes me very happy. So, just go and give it a tap for me. I thank you.

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