Why we need fear | Rachel Degutz | TEDxWatkins Glen: transcript

[applause] [music] [applause] [music] >> It was my second year competing on American Ninja Warrior, a TV show featuring the world's toughest obstacle courses. It was the third and final round of competition where the obstacles were bigger and more challenging.

This was extremely rare, but the producers let me and the 68 other finalists practice a brand new obstacle. I didn't know what it was, but every time I heard a rumor about it, I got that feeling in my stomach that's like half anxiety, half excitement, and another half anxiety. A busload of ninjas and I leave our hotel, and soon the brand new obstacle comes into view.

I see it beyond the chain-link fence securing the whole production, which is really an obstacle course built on a patch of dirt the size of a football field behind the Vegas strip. I squint through the bus window and see something red hanging high above the dug out pool. I hear the ninjas chatter around me as the red dangling object becomes clearer and clearer.

The bus stops outside the fence, and we trek through the dust and dirt and sit on the silver bleachers meant for the audience the following night. The cool spring air hits my face as I stare up at the brand new obstacle called the three ring circus. The red dangling object is the second ring of the circus.

The first thing I notice is that it hangs 25 ft high. That's like five of me above the water what catches you if you fall. So they explain the obstacle and show us how you go from ring one to ring two the dangling Frisbee higher than my two-story child at home and finally to ring three before you swing to safety.

So you start on a platform about 15 ft high with the first ring in your hands which is attached to a rope. You jump and swing down under a wall. The wall stops the momentum of the rope which causes you to shoot straight up and right above your head is the big red disc. So you have to let go of the first ring and catch the disc which I now learn is unstable and free spinning.

Meaning you have to catch it perfectly even or you will tip off and fall 25 ft. So also the wall it blocks your view of the red disc until moments before you catch it. So once you blindly catch the big red wobble disc hanging by only your fingertips 25 ft in the air you have to spin it around let go of it and catch the third ring.

You slide the third ring down a track which takes you to a landing platform where you can safely say I survived the three-ring circus. And this is what I do for fun. So, they start calling up the ninjas alphabetically by first name to test out the obstacle. And thankfully, my name starts with an R.

I watch the first few ninjas. Some of them look terrified on the start platform. But more importantly, I study their body movements. When they let go of the first ring, how their hips and shoulders are aligned as they catch the big red wobble disc. And then, I see it. The first ninja plummet 25 ft. I hear their body slap the water and join the ninjas giving a sympathetic "Ooh."

They're handed a towel. They seem okay, shaken, but okay, and say, "I don't think I grabbed the disc evenly." The fear of that becoming my reality creeps into my imagination. I immediately walk away from other people and close my eyes. I picture the red disc coming into view as I swing up towards it. I imagine the feeling in my hands of reaching up and grabbing it evenly.

I visualize it again and again. I did not want to be on the receiving end of a sympathetic "Ooh." As they make their way through the alphabet, my anticipation builds. My anxiety ebbs and flows, and the butterflies in my stomach must have been training for ninja, too, because if they flop stronger with each minute closer to my turn.

Eventually, I hear, "Rachel." My butterflies drop. I climb up to the obstacle thinking, "I can do this. I I this. I can do this. My heart is pounding out of my chest as adrenaline fills my body. And just like I visualized, my hands are around the first ring. I see the wall and sense the disc behind it. I fill my lungs with air and think, "Trust."

I take the leap. And just like I visualized, my swing brings me up from the first ring and places me right underneath the big red disc. My hands know to let go and catch it evenly. It wobbles a little bit, but I'm strong enough to stay in control and hop my hands to the third ring. I slide down to safety. Relief flashes through me from head to toe.

Pride, euphoria, dopamine all hit me at once. I did it! And I did it again in the competition. This is one of the scariest obstacles I've ever done on American Ninja Warrior. The hardest move is 25 ft high, which you can't even see until a millisecond before you catch it. And despite the physical danger, it was intimidating having all my competitors watching me, the executive producers present, and the anticipation of a lurking competition.

I never once failed this obstacle. And I can thank my fear for helping me complete it every single time. When I'm training in the ninja gym, we set up similar obstacles at much shorter heights over mats designed to catch you safely. The consequences of missing a grab are much smaller. Most ninja gyms actually have their own version of the big red wobbly disc.

I don't catch the one at my my every time. I've missed it plenty of times because I wasn't trying hard enough. There was nothing scaring me enough to stay committed and follow through. When I practiced the three-ring circus, my fear of falling 25 ft, hurting myself, embarrassing myself, and worrying about falling on it again in the actual competition, all pushed me to grip that disc as best as I could.

My fear helped me prepare for the moment of truth. I listened carefully as production explained the obstacle. I studied how far the disc hung behind the wall. And I visualized vividly what it was going to look and feel like through every step of the obstacle. All of this preparation boosted my confidence, hushed my worries, and helped me stay laser-focused through each step of the obstacle.

Being able to test out an obstacle before competition is not the norm. Usually ninjas get ready by visualizing the entire course. Every time I've made a careless mistake in competition, my first thought is I should have been more scared of the obstacle. I want to stress that the three-ring circus never became less scary. I didn't try to shove my fear in a box and hide it behind the bleachers.

It was scary for a reason, and I had to respect that reason. I did not overcome my fear. Instead, I used my fear as a tool. A tool is a device that aids in accomplishing a task. Like a drill helps you put a hole and screw in the wall to hang up a picture. I used my fear as a tool to conquer the obstacle.

It helped me properly prepare and follow through with that preparation. We can use fear as a springboard to help us focus through life's challenges. One common challenge that evokes fear is a job interview. Your future career and income goals are on the line. It makes you nervous for a reason, and to respect that reason, you properly prepare. You study the company's mission and find out what experiences to discuss with the interviewer.

You practice explaining your qualifications and visualize speaking with confidence. This helps you stay focused on what truly matters, so you can walk out of the interview knowing you did your best. And even if you don't land the role, you still gained experience with something that was intimidating. Fear is a tool. The more you work with a tool, the better you get at using it. The first time you ever pick up a drill, you take a minute looking at it. You examine the different buttons and settings, and the first time you push the trigger, you might press it slowly, not sure when it will start spinning.

The next time you need to use your drill, you spend a little less time reacquainting with the settings. And before you know it, you've had the drill for 5 years, and you can pick it up and confidently spin it at the exact speed you want it to go. The more experience you have using a tool, the more competent you become at using it. I've learned what it's like to get up on a stage with hundreds of eyes on me expecting me to complete a task.

Now, today's stage looks quite different from the one that you walk up before you compete on American Ninja Warrior. I'm not about to run and jump off the front of it. But there are some similarities. The lights are shining, cameras on me, and an expectation. But, most importantly, these are both scary challenges. So, I spend hours in the gym preparing for Ninja Warrior, just like I spent hours developing and practicing this presentation.

And as a result, I hopefully deliver a valuable talk to each and every one of you. Now, just like there are different types of tools, there are different types of fears. And getting more comfortable using a screwdriver can help you get better at using a drill. This is similar to how working with fears from physical challenges can help you better navigate, say, workplace or social fears.

On the basic level, it's all the same. You analyze the challenge, properly prepare, build confidence, and follow through. And hopefully celebrate. There are so many scary unknowns with trying something new. I was so afraid of trying Ninja Warrior for the first time. It took me two years to sign up for my first Ninja class.

Let's see how we can use fear as a tool to actually try something new. If you want to open up a new business, it's natural and good you are worried it might not work out and you'll lose all your money. This pushes you to diligently analyze how much you can safely invest. Trying a new sport? It's okay to fear looking stupid, or worse, getting seriously injured.

You avoid this by starting slow and learning the basics before leveling up. And finally, why does navigating fear even matter? Fear has once stopped us all. But I say, pick it up and use it as a tool to live a more fulfilling life. >> [applause]